Appaholics Anonymous - The Twelve Step Program

Let us start this post with a tacit understanding. We are addicted to the our apps- be it on our phones or our tablets. And the problem is only going to get worse- the Mac ecosystem is slowly getting appized as is the Windows 8 eco-system. We are now expecting to see an app for everything and everywhere. Does the new coffeeshop in the neighborhood have an app for me to order coffee online- God forbid I waste my time standing in line and actually looking up and see people around me. Does my car mechanic have an app for me to check on the status of my tire replacement- God forbid I actually pick up the phone and call them or drop by the shop to see whats being done on my car.It has gotten to the point where we cant imagine a life without apps, much as we hate to admit it. To capture this sense of addiction, I have taken the liberty of creatively adapting the Alcoholics Anonymous twelve step program for apps. So without further ado, here it goes.The Appaholics Anonymous Twelve Step Program1. We admitted we were powerless over those apps- yes, indeed there is an app for everything. Including one to read this- whenever, wherever and however. OK, I am already drifting. Our lives have become unmanageable without these apps.2. Came to believe that only a feature phone could restore us to sanity- but good luck finding one.3. Made a decision to uninstall all those apps right away- oops, I need that one and this and this one. Nevermind.4. Made a searching and moral inventory of all my apps. 118 in total. And thats just the ones on my phone. And another 123 on my tablet. And then there is the other tablet. And the other one.5. Admitted to self and self only that I just need that one last app and I am done. Unless they release a 2.0. I mean, there are bugs in 1.0 after all. And the in-app purchases. C'mon, I cant use the gimped version. What do you think- is this the Lite or the Premium Pro version?6. Were entirely ready for the spouse to remove all these apps on my phone- until she found out that I have that new game that she doesnt. Now she is not giving me my phone back.7. Humbly asked her to remove all my shortcomings- the credit cards on file, the password to the app store, everything. But then realized, I need them for my two-step verification after all.8. Made a list of all the people I totally ignored in the corridor, in the cafeteria and the restroom (yep!) that I was too busy to acknowledge as I was buried in my phone screen busy with my apps. Became willing to look up and  acknowledge the next time.9. Made eye-contact the next time I met them. Smiled. And went back to my screen. Hey, I did what I promised.10. Continued to take personal inventory, 121 phone apps at this time and 141 tablet apps. When added new apps, promptly made note to delete them. Lets cross the bridge when we get there. What's the real hurry here?11. Sought through prayer and meditation to constantly improve our interaction with the app. Hands free gestures, eye tracking, voice- I'll take them all.12. Having had a spiritual awakening thinking about removing all these apps, just realized why am I trying to delete them again?. I love them unconditionally. They are my handpicked selection, downloaded, sorted into the right folder in the right page, not the home (too valuable real estate), not the 6th screen (too many swipes), just right on the 4th alongside the related social folder (logical choice). While you read this, I will have added a couple of new apps to try out. And plan on committing myself yet again to the program.Disclaimer: This is in no form or manner meant to offend anyone in a real AA program. App addiction is not in any form or manner as life changing and life threatening as alcohol addiction. AA is doing a great job in helping people with a real problem. This post is just in good humor.