The Bay Area Indian Parent - Part 1

We moved to the Bay Area from suburban Philly a couple of years ago. Our son was 1.5 yrs old then. After 2 years of living in the Bay Area and interacting on a daily basis with fellow Indian parents, I believe I am ready to write this post.I looked at myself in the mirror before I started writing. I am the first and foremost example of much of what is to come in this post. If you are a {Bay Area, Indian, parent}, take this for what it is- a tongue-in-cheek look at the lives we lead and what we make of it.It starts when a mother-to-be announces her pregnancy to the world. The parents-to-be are doled out gobs of advice on everything from then on. It really never stops. Early on, the advice helps. Soon though, you are starting to lose your nerves. Should you sign up for the much wanted daycare in Sunnyvale along side fellow Indians or the one in the Cisco campus?. Do you need the one with a camera in the classroom?. Or should you just go with the parents for a year+nanny for the second year option that is so popular with other desis?. Questions, questions, questions. The child arrives and the questions quadruple. And so does the advice. Here is where we go from that point.The typical desi leans on the girls parents first and then the boys parents to brave a long flight and hours of boredom to come and clean their kids diapers. Poor parents. They thought their job was done once their kids were packed off to college. Little did they know it was going to haunt them for years to come. They start regretting the subtle and non so subtle advice they copiously doled out on why every couple should have a kid.The parent of the child is immediately put into a vortex of conflicting advice- the American residing desi-at-heart doctor or the grandmother who knows best. Should she work on her diet or give Woodwards gripe water every day?. Does the vibhuthi on the childs forehead cause a dirt hazard to its eyes or will it keep the evil eye away?The grandparents share their stories with many other such grandparents everywhere from baby showers to naming ceremonies to first year birthdays. At their grandchild's first birthday you can see them beaming. Yes, their grandchild is a year old. More importantly, they can finally go home to their mega-serial and chatty servant maid. Not to mention roads swarming with people. To them, the joy of living in a crowded street is far better than the tranquil and serene surroundings of the suburban homes in the US.Just before the second set of grandparents finish their 6 month trip, there is the inevitable nanny interviews. The Punjabi nanny is asked if she can cook upma and koozh. As the grandmother's eyes meet those of the nanny, there is a wary acknowledgement of shift of power. Nanny approved, the grandparents cant wait to get out of this country. Seriously.Along the way, the parents of the kid develop a new found zest for religion and Indian festivals. The Diwali that was otherwise a long drinking session with friends into the night is now a fancy dress affair comparing which kid's kurta set was more expensive. And the visits to the temple just quadruple. Prayers, long forgotten are revisited and divinity is in vogue for the first time after 12th standard exams.And we are not done. More next week.